One Stop for Comfort And Happiness

One Stop for Comfort And Happiness -christyfitzwater.com

I could see Matt physically brace himself, as we waved our last goodbye to that boy of ours, through the airport security glass. Hating to disappoint the man, I walked three steps and let the tears fall. A mom can only put on a brave face for so long.

Of course, I had to suck in the tears as we walked from the airport to the truck, because it was the wee hours of the morning and single digits outside -could have ended up with a frozen lake for a face.

But as soon as the door shut in the warm truck, I cried buckets. At that point in our marriage, I could have asked Matt for anything. He would have given it to me, in exchange for a ceasing of waterworks. (Note to self: Keep a list of demands handy for just such a case.)

Oh, look at me. I’ve made myself cry again just talking about it. Just a sec’.

Okay, so we got home from the airport, and that sick man crawled back in bed, to try to get a few more hours of sleep. I made coffee, grabbed my new devotional book, The Songs of Jesus, by Timothy Keller, and settled onto the couch under a down blanket. The tears had dried up and all that was left was the constricting pain around my heart. Kids leaving home is dumb.

In the introduction to his book, Timothy Keller says the Psalms are:

…a medicine chest for the heart.

Wow did I know about medicine chests. Matt and I had been taking turns being sick for weeks and reaching for Dayquil and Vicks –anything to help us feel better.

So I read the Psalm for the day:

Blessed are all who take refuge in him.  (Psalm 2:12 NIV)

The word “refuge” brought a scene to my mind from the movie Hidalgo. Frank Hopkins looks behind him in the desert, to see a terrifying and deadly sand storm quickly blowing in behind him. He barely outraces it on his horse, taking refuge in the ruins of an old building just in time.

Sadness was bearing down on me like a storm, and I was grateful the psalmist understood I needed a place.

A place with good walls.

Because when I hurt so bad that I can hardly breathe, my question for the Lord is usually, “Where? Where can I take all of this pain?”

The second word I grabbed from the verse was “blessed.” It means happy, and that was what I wanted to feel again. Interesting, I thought, that someone seeking refuge from a horrible force could find happiness. It comforted me, to see that “refuge” and “happiness” could be mashed together in the same moment.

And that is what I found in the Lord that morning. See how I ran to him with my broken mom heart, and he had just the thing? He cared enough to put the perfect words in front of me at just the right time, and being cared for made me happy.

Better than Vicks.

Blessed are all who take refuge. We have to run to take refuge in the Lord, instead of running for another Krispy Kreme or the remote control or Amazon just-one-click (not that I would ever do those things.)

For whatever ails you, I pray you will take refuge in the Lord today. I pray you will know the comfort of his strong walls and the special happiness waiting for you there.

12 Comments

  1. Cheryl Cassin says:

    As soon as you mentioned ‘son’ and ‘airport’, my heart was with you, and my own memories of that ‘goodbye’ come flooding back to me. Our son lives far away across our nation, and we seldom see him. There’s no parting like a mother’s from her child……(wow, just imagine every time one of God’s kids walks away from Him!!)
    Having the ‘same malady’ as you (cold/flu) AND missing the ‘kids’….our hearts beat the same beat, sister!
    Thanks for sharing once again something that resonates with me, and points me to Our Lord.

    1. It just hurts to be so far away from these beautiful children we’ve raised. I keep reminding myself that this is a temporary life, and one day there will be no more tears. That’s good news for a mom!

  2. Jeannette says:

    Christy,
    You are a beautiful person and I hope you have a great day! Thank you for you!

    **I just wanted you to know, I appreciate all your blogs**

  3. Dede Eller says:

    Tonight my younger son moved out. It has been heartbreaking for us. I came home to my husband’s tear-stained face. We are taking refuge in the Lord today, praying for the safety of our prodigal.

  4. Jessica Diaz says:

    Thanks so much for this. Hope your son settles back in okay to college and you and Matt both feel better.

  5. Beautiful. Thank you.

  6. My husband and I recently relocated to the North Shore of MA, as he received a promotion. Other than our college years, we’ve both lived in our “home” community for all of our 50+ years. Our friends, family, and church family have been left behind. I have not found new employment yet, but have enjoyed the opportunity to organize our new home. Nonetheless, I’m beginning to feel my isolation. I have time (which I’m typically craving!), but I’m starting to waste that time by becoming stressed about not yet beginning a new job and how we’re going to pay our bills, etc. I know that God has the perfect thing planned for me! I also know that my go-to tendency is to play tug-o-war with God for control in my life! Because I’m isolated (and shy!), I have too much time for mental tug-o-war. I needed this reminder today. Thanks Christy. You always know just the right thing to write!

    1. Oh sister -what a lonely stretch! I think we all long to control our situation, but what a rich opportunity you have, to do a good job waiting on the Lord. I’m praying for you this morning. Thanks so much for taking the time to write a note!

      1. Thank you for your prayer. It means the world.

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